An Ode to Stephanie:

You sound too much like Beyonce
No matter what you sing, all day!
"I do?" You do! I say you do!
That's why we say goodbye to you!

We started the evening off by listening to Peter Noone sing one of my favorite Herman's Hermits songs, "There's a Kind of Hush." He looked older, but just as confident, relaxed and carefree as he did 40 years ago. It took me back a ways, and I loved it.

I think because we have two guest artists singing tonight there is no group sing - I'm a little sad about that, because I kind of enjoy those vats of Velveeta. They went straight to the Ford vignette. The kids looked like they were having fun in a bubble bath, and Melinda did some amazing stunt on top of the washers that I suspect was done by a body double.

We have two eliminations tonight. The first, without suspense or ceremony, is Brad Garrett, who is shilling for his Fox show, "'Til Death," which comes on immediately after the results show. Brad is run out, and then we get to the real stuff.

Well, we seem to have way too much going on tonight to drag anything out. Stand up Phil, Melinda, and Blake! Sit down, Phil, Melinda, and Blake; we will see you next week! Please stand, Chris S., Lakisha, and Jordin. Does anyone really think that any of these are going home? I didn't think so. I didn't either, and they are, indeed, safe. Wow, we are really moving along here! Please stand up Sanjaya, Haley, and Gina! None of you are in the bottom three...um, Ryan? There are only two left. If no one else was in the bottom three, do we have a ghost position that we've voted on? Are we still voting for Brandon (and can we get him back?)?

Sadly, it appears that Chris R. and Stephanie are in the bottom two. I predicted Stephanie to be in trouble, and I'm kind of hoping that's where this leads (I think Chris has some things that I still want to see). But first things first...

Ah, the Idol Challenge. Do we know which Idol star recently landed a role in the Broadway production of "The Color Purple?" Was it A) Fantasia, B) Paris, or C) Vonzell?

After Ryan discusses "Idol Gives Back," he introduces Lulu, who sings her hit song "To Sir, With Love." Oh. My. Goodness. Have I mentioned how much I love her voice? I think I like it better now than I did 40 years ago! And did I mention how good she looks? Geez. Just. Not. Fair.

Once she's done, we're back to Chris and Stephanie, who are holding hands and waiting for the guillotine to fall. With no further ado, Ryan lets Stephanie know that she will not be making the AI Tour this year. It's sad, but she goes with class. Unfortunately, there is no time for her to sing us out, so we just have to say goodbye.