Well, here we go. The penultimate results show of Idol 4. Wednesdays mean only one thing, America. Our chipper host is wearing a light-colored suit to help brighten the mood. Because, you know, the whole cutting thing is a real downer. Sunglasses indoors! Hollywood Bo Bice strikes again! Then we see how last night's audience got to go to a sneak preview screening of Sith at The Grove. You know, I once saw Nathan Lane outside of that very theater! Then Carrie cracks a Yoda joke that's as good as anything Ryan ever had.
Now we get to see the Idols adored back in their hometowns. Vonzell excitedly shows us the local paper, imploring us to see what's in today's news. The top headline reads, At Least Three Insurers Institute Rate Hikes or something like that. Good to know that Vonzell is out there fighting for the common man, ready to fill Ralph Nader's shoes. She won't stand for big business running roughshod over average Americans!
After that, Vonzell sings one of the songs she performed last night. I guess we'll just wait this out. Now we're going to Alabama with Bo Bice. Hope you guys like stuff fried. Bo Bice is met by the sole surviving members of Skynyrd, which is a dream come true for any Alabaman. Wow! AND he met Rick and Bubba?! THE Rick and Bubba? Okay, now I'm officially jealous! Then Bo Bice gets the key to the city, artfully hung on a hippie bead necklace. Then Bo Bice does a performance for the fans. And if he's smart, he'll take note of the effect that years of rocking have had on the boys from Skynyrd. Drink a lot of water, Bo.
And now we're all left to wonder, did Carrie go home as well? Of course. Come on, there was no suspense there. As soon as she gets her feet on the tarmac, Carrie screams, It smells like home. I can't tell if she's happy or upset about it. Was it like, Yay! It smells like home!? Or Eww! It smells like home!? And what does home smell like? Wet grass, dogs and living leather, I assume. Then Carrie sings.
Now it's time for results! Somebody gets to go back home again this week, except there will be no parades, no limo rides, no keys to no cities. At least not for Vonzell, who's the one going home. Although, if I may be sincere for one fleeting moment, I'll say that Vonzell got much better throughout the season and went farther than anybody might have expected, so bully for her. Also, I thought she was genuinely interesting... And that, my friends, is the end of my sincerity. For good.