We only have 30 minutes together tonight, so let's make it count. Just think, we're half an hour away from breaking up with somebody else and cutting our one-time 14-way relationship down into a much more manageable 7-way love heptagon. Ryan starts the show and the kids stand in the dark. Dang, Costas looks irked about something. Maybe somebody left the tzatziki off his gyro at lunch.
By the way, only one person in this entire soundstage kissed the sidewalk this afternoon after receiving a gold star. Do a little research if you want to know who it was. Ryan immediately heads to his mini golf podium which he doesn't kiss hint! and asks the kids how they're doing. Oh. Well, so much for the intrigue.
Then we go through a bunch of Ryan's Idol moments. Hey, is that email column legend Ross Williams? Actually, I have no idea. But if it is, hopefully the debate is over. We come back from the piece and Ryan is completely flustered. He'd better regain his composure or they're going to be jack-hammering that star by 9:15.
Hey, this is a new touch! Instruments! What does Anthony's t-shirt read? You gotta live like a Ukrainian? Oh. Rock star. That's completely different then. I wonder if Seacrest got mad when he found out Anthony raided his closet. On another sartorial note, I'm glad Scott is staying true to himself, but he couldn't get into most nice bars looking like that. I'm just saying. We need to look nicer as a society. I'm tired of seeing people wearing their pajamas on airplanes.
Live. Um, not this part. This is from last night. Okay, live. Live results! Now Ryan is going to separate the singers into an Indian-style caste system. Vonzell is in group...Vonzell. Group far side of the stage. Group Far. Anthony goes into Group Near. Anwar goes into Group Near as well. Connie is in Group Far. Then Ryan breaks it down for us again. Here's Group Near and Group Far. Ryan walks over to the middle, putting himself in Group Hollywood Walk of Fame Star Holders. Then we take a break, leaving Carrie, Scott and Bo Bice in Group Couch.
We're back and so is the caste system. Carrie is placed into Group Far. Scott the Underbeard is put into Group Near. Hopefully striped pants aren't a requirement for membership. Lastly, it's Bo Bice. And he's put in Group Bo Bice. Ryan then asks Bo Bice to join the group he thinks finished in the top this week, but in a Spartacus-like moment of solidarity, Bo Bice heads to center stage, right between the two groups. Bo Bice won't play favorites! Man, symbolic moves like that have brought down Eastern European governments. The lone protestor in Tiananmen Square salutes Bo Bice!
Back from a break and Ryan shoves Bo Bice into Group Far. So Scott, Anthony and Anwar are on the hook. Is getting cut living like a rock star? I guess not, because he's safe and Anwar's going home. Paula called him the best technical singer, but he's technically going home. So that's that.